Time travel sucks!


Man has forever dreamed of being able to turn back the clock and travel back in time to adjust his mistakes or experience something great once more. Or putting in place a master plan to take over the world if you are and egotistical maniac hell bent on ruling the world like me!

What is it that drives us to dream of time travel with such rose tinted glasses? As far as I can make out there are three main forms of time travel:
1) The ability to travel back or forward and view events at will.
2) Backward travel with no return to normal time.
3) Backward travel but returning to your normal time.
Let’s take a closer look at each.

The ability to hop about in time at will is usually achieved using some sort of gizmo, gadget or machine. This is probably the most popular method and comes with the worst possible hang-up’s. Usually involving the complete destruction of the entire universe if you accidentally meet yourself in another time! A somewhat drastic and off putting side effect that may spoil your day no end. In addition we have the possibility of causing people to simply wink out of existence in your base time, including yourself of course. Once again this could be seen as a slight disadvantage. So all in all this doesn’t seem like a very good idea and should possibly be avoided if only to save the universe from certain destruction.

Next on the agenda, traveling back in time with no way to return. There is only one way this could work and that’s if you return to your own younger body and take over. Now clearly this wouldn’t result in the destruction of the universe so we are safe for now, however this form of time travel is rarely achieved in the movies with a machine or gizmo, instead it’s done with mumbo-jumbo, spells, magic and such. Now forgive me here but that’s just plain silly. So why would you want to do this? Well if it were to relive a moment in your past then you are likely to be disappointed since the very fact you just went back will most likely change events completely, oops. Plus you now have to relive all the following years but down a completely different path.

Finally the best of the bunch, hopping back in time to change one single event and then jumping straight back to your base time. Now here in lies a conundrum of human nature. You see we thrive on not having any choice, it makes us content and happy since we can’t change the choices we made. But what if we could? Would we ever be happy again? Simply put, no. We would constantly be jumping back in time trying to adjust one thing or another and would never be truly happy. A good example of this is the film “The Butterfly Effect” where it quickly becomes clear that there is no answer to the riddle.

There is of course another piece to this puzzle… God. Now I’m no believer but if there is a God up there then what might he make of this whole time travel lark. Well I think the film I just mentioned may give the answer. The main character suffered blackouts at important points in his life. Each of the points in the characters life he jumped back to was marked by a black out, so in reality it was all destined, the black outs were there because his future him had jumped back and taken over briefly. None of it was random, in effect God was rolling on the floor hugging his ribs because of the pain of laughing so hard. How ironic.

So in conclusion; whatever you do, don’t ever time travel. It will just screw up your life, give God a jolly good laugh or destroy the universe and nobody will be your friend if you do that.

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